random lockscreens
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I hate how on Tumblr, a username like lisa486 is almost certainly a pornblot, while someone named solidsnakesasscheeks is almost certainly a real person
I could be a porn bot if I wanted to
becca
24 | NE | 🏳️🌈
squided
fineilljustdatemyselfthen
one of my favourite things about my boyfriend is that he's 6'4 but convinced he is a normal sized person and this does not constitute "tall"
once, if not twice, a week the card game shop he plays digimon at upload a top-4 photo best described as "gandalf and the hobbits" and every time he is genuinely baffled as to why he looks like that
told him i made this post and he's still insistent that he isn't tall
bf: i'm not tall! i feel like everyone i see is around the same height as me. like people in the street
me: they aren't
bf: but i can see their faces! if i'm looking at their faces they must be the same height
me: you're looking down slightly babe
bf: why would i do that
me: because you're tall
incidentally the fact i am 5'5 also comes as a shock to him at least once a day and then he inevitably asks if i'm "normally that short"
if you lean in real close you can hear his singular brain cell bouncing around like a windows screensaver
Has your boyfriend got his eyesight checked? Bc when I don’t wear my glasses I’m nice and close to the ground but when I do it’s HOLY SHIT WHY AM I THIS TALL, I’M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS, HELP ME time and it’s genuinelly terrifying.
he wears glasses he's just dumb
update to this post from yesterday:
bf: apparently only 7% of people are over 6' tall
me: yes........?
bf: that isn't very many. am i tall?
me: i cannot believe we are having this discussion again. yes. you are tall. you are still tall. you were tall yesterday. you will be tall tomorrow
bf: oh my god i'm tall aren't i
me: my love the netherlands is the tallest country in the world and even there average male height is 6' 0.5". you are tall by "kingdom of giants" standards, even. but we live on "shortarse island", so...
bf: AM i tall though
me: you are 6ft 4
he is he's very pretty
Can he make spinach puffs? Asking for irrelevant reasons....
having watched emperors new groove (it's my favourite) he does understand this reference but also he really loves cooking so you saying this has now prompted him to look up how to make spinach puffs
which is to say that yes, he is kronk
fun fact they're both the same person. same 6'4 boyfriend referred to himself as a short king because he thought it meant a man who really likes wearing shorts
Large dog energy